Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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