I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
