Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
