So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
