he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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