I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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