You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
