he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just pee around me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
pray to the hookup gods
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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