Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
