Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
