She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
