why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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