I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've blown a few things in my day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
