I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
