Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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