he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
