I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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