The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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