operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
