We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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