Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
