I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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