I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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