at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You smell like stripper and shame
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
