I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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