He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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