i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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