they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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