I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize