I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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