I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
