Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
