Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize