Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
