in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
