It's just like the Real World with babies
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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