Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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