What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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