Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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