what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
