i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
