It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
