Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
