I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
