May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize