I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
