This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
