you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The dick lei will go down in squad history
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
