So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
