so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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