my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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