I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sorry my hands just texted you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
