somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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