Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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