Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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