Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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