I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
