Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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