how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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