Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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