I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
