and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop