Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!

(847): View more from Illinois

Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!

Fav 24 1319 5426
share tweet
(469): View more from Texas

I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...

Fav 45 6658 1475
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

Fav 23 880 4708
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

Fav 14 1442 4335
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.

Fav 12 6121 1276
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

Fav 6 3353 1467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

Fav 10 3264 1077
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world

Fav 2 374 202
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...

Fav 1 27 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT