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• (623): View more from Arizona

  were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (917): View more from New York City

  And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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• (845): View more from New York

  brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  "I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out

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