Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
