she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT