I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize