just come out here and I will go home with you...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
