i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
