haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
